Monday, July 21, 2008

July 21, 2008 - Monday

Monday again!

Last week hubby worked at home all week. It always puts me in a weird frame of mind, cuz it seems that he throws my "schedule" off when he's home. But it's summer vacation and Little Boy is home too, so my schedule is kinda thrown off anyway. Also, since we're in penny pinching mode right now, it's good to save on the gas and the toll road charges that we'd pay if he had gone to work. I did notice something else, though - there was about half the amount of laundry last week, since Hubby just threw his same old shorts and t-shirt on every day!

I also did something else that ended up being a great idea - even though I did it unintentionally. I cleaned half the house on Wednesday, and then the other half on Thursday. Each day took about an hour, and my house was clean! (Which makes me wonder why it takes me ALL day to clean the house sometimes, but ok, whatever...) I ended up doing this because on Wednesday, I had some ladies over for our weekly bible study. I thought I'd just clean up the front rooms: Living/Dining room, Kitchen, TV room, and of course, the Guest Bathroom. So the next day, all I needed was the laundry room, Little Boy's room, and the Master Bed/Bath. I think this is a method I might adopt regularly!

I know this isn't a "dieting" blog (I'll resist the urge to start yet another blog...), but I will share my dieting progress. I was getting a little frustrated, cuz after two weeks of 1500 calories, I had lost one pound, and I kept losing/gaining/losing the 2nd pound. OOOoh, I was getting downright mad! My friend very gently told me that maybe I need to avoid "empty calories". For example: 100 calories of broccoli, and 100 calories of donut, are not equal. Really? I thought they were equal. Don't read that sarcastically - I really thought they were equal. A calorie is a calorie, right? I mean,why should it make a difference as long as I stay within my allotted calorie intake? But ok, I thought it was worth a try. And then, I read that your body does not care how many calories you eat daily, it cares how many calories you have per meal. Therefore, if you have a high calorie meal, your body will store fat, even if your daily calorie intake is low. Hmmmm. So, I started eating nutritious, low cal meals every 2.5 hours. Yeah, just like a baby. I even set the alarm on my cell phone and put it in my pocket. I did this for one day...and I had lost 2.5 lbs by the next morning. Coincidence? I dunno. But I'm definitely eating every 2.5 hours from now on.

Hubby, on the other hand, has lost about 8 lbs. His method of weight loss? Watching me diet. That's it. He's just watching me diet, and the pounds are falling off of him. (GRrrrr!)

Well, off I go to I go to continue my day. I've picked up the stray stuff around the house. I've started laundry. Kitchen is clean. Little Boy has eaten breakfast and is watching a movie. We cleaned out the office this weekend, so I have a few "yard sale" items sitting in my living room, so I'll have to find a place to store those things until the elusive yard sale happens. I have a pile of filing to do (hubby has saved every bit of paper from his entire life, and it makes his nervous to think of getting rid of any of it!). But once that pile is nicely filed away, we'll actually have some room in the office. Not much more room, but a little bit. (At least we'll be able to get to the window now.)

So it seems that this Monday is off to a semi-organized start. That makes me happy. Hey, I should throw something in the crock pot so then dinner will be done! (I love not having to think at 5pm about what's for dinner!)

Until next time!

Friday, July 11, 2008

July 11, 2008 - Friday

Yesterday I decided that I had finally "had it" with this filthy messy house. I spent the whole day cleaning. I started at 7:30am and I was still going at 4:30, when Hubby got home. Whew! I was kinda cranky and tired by then, and I was working myself up to being even more cranky by telling myself that these boys were gonna all come home and start making a mess and we'd be back to the dirty messy house that we were. Am I the only woman who does this - be home all day and start "thinking" - and by the time hubby gets home, I'm all worked up into being mad and annoyed at something he hasn't done yet??????? Sheesh. Poor Guy.

...and the fact that my period is due today is totally irrelevant.

Later that evening - after dinner - we were sitting in the living room in the dark with the fan hitting us, chatting, and he got up to get something to drink, and I said I was gonna go do laundry - and he starts saying - "No - don't go! Sit with me!" Which I guess "sounds" sweet..but it annoyed me, cuz I thought "Ya know, just cuz you're off from work, does not mean that my job ever ends. Quit make me feel like I'm doing something wrong just cuz I wanna go fold your underwear!!!!".

Yup, I feel silly typing it now. Please tell me that you can relate.

It's just that I was tired. I spent the whole day picking up everyone's "stuff"; cleaning the dribble off the side of the toilet (3 males in the house); sorting dirty underwear; chipping the petrified food off the dishes; and winding up & finding the proper home for at least three thousand phone/video game/headset/laptop/ipod charger cords; dust, vacuum, get the idea. And I did all this with NO air conditioning. Plus, I had to find time to go run a couple of errands, and then, when I was all done, I had to run Little Boy to karate lessons (which I did not feel like doing). When I got back, I heated up dinner (Thank you, Lord, for leftover spaghetti), and then I discovered a trail of ants heading from the lawn into the garage, up the wall and into the ceiling, so I put on the gloves, mask and sprayed the entire perimeter of the house. I was tired.

I hopped in the shower to so I could put on my jammies and relax , and hubby decides he wants us to "take an evening drive". OK, well, don't feel like it - but he worked all day and if it gives him a small pleasure to take an evening drive, how can I say, "Nah, dont' feel like it"??? Ugh.

At some point, I gotta get a hold of myself and say - "Hello? You cannot be cranky woman all night - remember you asked God this morning to let the Holy Spirit guide you in everything you do! That does not mean that you can spend the rest of the evening making snippy comments at your family!!!" So, I got a hold of myself.


So here I am this morning thinking: Aaaah, I love getting up to a clean house. It's so relaxing. I'm gonna sit here and have my coffee, and catch up on some blogging, which I haven't had the time to do all week. I'm gonna catch up on my jewelry business paperwork for that I've been putting off (receipts and inventory). I know that Little Boy has been going to bed late and sleeping till at least 9am, so I've got a couple of hours of peace and quiet, since it's only 7am.

But guess who's up? Yup, Little Boy. And being the godly mother I am, I said, "What are you doing up at 7:30????? It's too early!!!! You have to go back to bed!!!!!"

As soon as I heard myself, I realized how dumb THAT sounded. I looked at his little sleepy eyes and felt like the loser mom that I am. So I hugged him and smiled. And I thought, no problem, he can watch cartoons or something while I'm on the computer for a little bit.

Except that he woke up kinda chatty.

I used to think: I don't mind my SAHM "job", it's the interruptions that drive me nuts. But I've learned that the interruptions ARE the job. So I'll finish up this post and go get him some breakfast. (breakfast in in my house means a bowl of cereal).

Later this morning I'm gonna meet some moms for lunch at "Chick-Fil-a". That should be fun for us AND for the kids, since they have a little indoor play area. Plus, since I'm Little Boy's primary playmate (is that called a "Primate"?) most the time, he'll be glad to play with some other kids.

Sometime today, I'll have to finish up the laundry(started it yesterday, as I mentioned, but did not finish). And I'll have to find time to organize my business paperwork later this evening. I'm somewhat organized already, but I've fallen behind. Story of my life.

I also gotta remember to take the SUV for a smog check. Registration was due yesterday and when I went to pay it, i saw that I had to smog it. Fun.

Which reminds me - I also gotta file taxes for my jewelry business soon (gotta pay that sales tax!).

Always a million little things to remember, isn't there?


On the bright side - I started "dieting". Yeah yeah, I shouldn't use the word "diet". But come one, I'm counting each calorie I consume - so as ugly a word as it is - I am dieting. In one week, I've lost 2.5 pounds, which is right on schedule for the 2lb/week goal I'm going for. We've also been walking in the evenings, so that helps.

Well, I better start the day since my quiet morning of solitude has ceased to exist. My poor Little Boy - how could he possibly know that his sleeping late keeps me sane by providing me with necessary alone time????? He can't. He just felt like getting up and he did. I better go be a good mom to him. The Lord gives me patience and lets me know when I'm being selfish. It's not wrong to need alone time, or enjoy alone time, or to even have things that are fun or make me happy or give me satisfaction. But when I put aside my family to do those things, then I gotta stop and get my priorities right. I am truly self seeking by nature. Lord, please help me to put my family first and not be worried about the extra unnecessary things in life. Let me first do the things that make my family feel happy and loved. I always seem to find time for the other things when I put my family first - but I don't find time for the family when I put the other things first.

Off to start the day...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Can I do it?

I got a call from my childhood best friend today. She lives in the small town where we grew up and keeps me posted on all the happenings. It's been 25 years since we graduated, and apparently, some of our classmates felt like we couldn't let the 25 year mark pass us by without having some sort of event.

So, they planned an informal get together (carne asada cookout at someone's house) in October. My first thought is that I would LOVE to see everyone!

My second thought is that I don't want to go because I'm too fat.

My friends (who were here when i got this phone call) said I shouldn't let that stop me from going to be with friends. And they are right. But I just hate the thought of being seen.

And you know, I've been saying for years now, that I have to lose weight one of these days. And, to be honest, I was there five years ago for my 20 year reunion, and I know that I'm not MUCH fatter now than I was then. So, really, what's the big deal since they've already seen me fat?

I talked with hubby about it and he said that we both need to lose weight, and that maybe this short term goal would actually motivate me. After all, I have three whole months. Enough time to lose something. Maybe I wouldn't be Twiggy by October, but I'd definitely feel better than I feel now.

But there's something more. I'm afraid of saying I'm gonna lose weight because I'm afraid I wont be able to do it. I hate to say that - it sounds stupid. But that's how I truly feel. Afraid of failure. Afraid I'll get my hopes up of looking good, and then I'll still be big fat me, just like always. How do people lose 100+ lbs? We see it all the time on TV! I only need to lose about 40 lbs. Should be a piece of cake. (Mmmm, cake...)

But I'm thinking that this just might be possible. I have 12 weeks. At 2 lbs per week, I could lose 24 lbs. So maybe I can try to lose 20 lbs.

It just seems so impossible to me. WHY???? I hate feeling like I can't do it. I am afraid of failing in this. But I think I have to try. Not just for this event - but because I have to. and this event just came along to give me a kick in the butt. Think about it - if it were a year away, I'd think I had a lot of time and I would procrastinate. But three months is not long - yet long enough to do something.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Maybe if I say it enough times, I'll believe it.